Everyone under the age of 80 probably recognizes the term FOMO – fear of missing out.
This is a primary strategy of marketing, to make the potential consumer want to buy the product for fear of missing out on (fill in the blank). That underlying fear is what makes social media so compelling as connections post their vacation pictures or their new car or their wonderful family. FOMO isn’t inherently negative because motivation comes in different forms. When FOMO turns into ENVY, however, it’s a never-ending thirst to keep up with the (fill in the blank) that can never be quenched.
A new term came to my attention recently that I think can be equally challenging to manage: FOMU, or fear of messing up.
FOMU often happens because past failures are felt to be inevitable for future attempts. FOMU can also come from seeing others try and fail, often in very public and spectacular ways. In either case, it’s not necessarily the activity that causes fear but the repercussions of failure. When FOMU strikes, rigor mortis sets in. It can also be called freeze, paralysis by analysis, or “deer stuck in a headlight.” Whatever phraseology is used, FOMU can be debilitating for positive forward progress.
My personal and professional story is littered with two steps forward and one step back – or even one step forward and two steps back. The scar tissue from those major / minor defeats can build up to the point where you don’t want to try again. A frozen shoulder because the patient is afraid of reinjury is a real medical complication. A frozen career is as well.
However, defeats can be opportunities to learn what NOT to do – or TO do – for the next attempt. All it takes is supplanting a past defeat with a present victory, however small, to give confidence for the next step, action, or mindset adjustment. There isn’t a single successful person (however they define that) who hasn’t suffered defeat and used the lesson(s) learned as inspiration for the next attempt.
Here’s the optimal process:
- Try
- Fail
- Learn
- Keep going until you succeed
Knute Rockne was quoted as saying, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it’s how many times you get back up.”
Is there something in your life, personal or professional, where you have FOMU?
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Excellent advice, Mark! It is a rare human who hasn’t experienced the two steps up and one step back! Your 4-step process is powerful advice for everyone!