If you have been a human for a while, you’ve been subjected to criticism. Sometimes it is accurate (“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”) and sometimes unfair (“That referee has to be blind to have called it a strike!” from row 35 in section 412). Sometimes it happens to people just minding their own business while other times it happens because you’re a highly visible personality. Criticism can arrive at the most opportune … or inopportune … moments. It can be founded purely on opinion, facts, or a mixture of the two. Strangely enough, we can all be our own worst critics.
Thanks to social media, everyone’s criticisms can be expressed at any time of day or night. For every person who likes something, there is at least one person who doesn’t. For every person who feels entitled to share their opinion, there is at least one person who doesn’t care. What used to be a passive aggressive in-person comment can now be amplified to the entire world.
Because you’re a human, you’ve had to make choices. You do the best you can with the information you have available, hopefully after you’ve carefully analyzed the pros and cons. Chances are you, like me, have made many good choices. You probably have, just like me, also made a lot of poor choices. Sometimes you’re in “freeze” mode and cannot make a choice (“Where do you want to go out to eat tonight?”).
I was reminded recently of the critical path of choices by this (new to me) quote:
“Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.” — Jean Sibelius
That reminded me of my favorite quote about leadership from Theodore Roosevelt …
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
If you’re reading this article, are faced with a choice, and the decision is at least somewhat influenced by anticipated criticism, here’s my thoughts on the three types of critics:
- People that are jealous they didn’t think of it first and will nitpick to scratch that itch.
- People that don’t understand but could be supportive with more information.
- People who want to help refine the idea because they believe in the idea and/or the person (also called constructive criticism).
Ignore people #1. Negativity breeds negativity. For you to achieve your goals, negativity (from without or within) needs to be reframed to positivity. Remove purveyors of negativity from your circle of influence.
Explain to people #2. While articulating your argument, you may find issues that, when addressed, increase the likelihood of a positive outcome. If your idea is already airtight, you may create a new ally.
Engage with people #3. Be humble enough to accept well-meaning feedback, absorb their insights, then adjust your plans as appropriate.
Good choices are reliant upon intuition, competence, and confidence. Be a bold high achiever, pursue the intersection of what you’re good at & what you love to do, and don’t let the fear of criticism keep you off the arena floor. In other words, don’t allow critics to be on the critical path to your success.
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