Comedian Robin Williams once delivered what he called, “A Poem Written While on LSD.” It went roughly something like this:
A Broo Arr Arr,
A Broo Arr,
Eve Arden,
A Broo Broo Arr.
Recently I have been playing with (chatting with, actually) OpenAI’s ChatGPT, an Artificial Intelligence (AI) machine that will likely, at best, eventually upend traditional search engine functions. At worst, it may enslave humanity and destroy life as we know it. But for now, it still thinks California’s workers’ comp system is monopolistic, so it has a little bit to learn before taking over the earth.
Unless, of course, it was offering a glimpse into the future. More on that in later posts, as I digress…
My original hope was that ChatGPT would have the wherewithal to deliver several informative and entertaining blog posts a week. That would allow me to sleep in more often, while still providing humorous and cutting-edge content. Sadly, ChatGPT is not yet up to the task.
I suppose that is one thing the machine and I share in common.
However, my “conversations” with the system have been quite revealing about how far AI has come in a relatively short period of time. I asked it to write a couple of articles, which were pretty darn accurate, given that they were each produced in 30 seconds by a cold and soulless machine. Prior to this, only writers on the television show “The View” could equal that mastery.
One of the things I asked Skippy (the name I’ve assigned to it) to do was write a poem about on-the-job injuries. True to task, after seconds of deep concentration, Skippy slammed out a 4 stanza beauty on the topic du jour. Robin Williams had nothing on Skippy. I publish his poem below:
A twisting wrench and a slip of the hand
A sharp pain and a broken band
A fall from the ladder, a cut on the cheek
On the job injuries, we all must seek
A sprained ankle and a bruised knee
A burn from the welding, as hot as can be
A broken bone and a tear in the flesh
On the job injuries, we all must fresh
A scrape on the elbow and a gash on the head
A strained back and a wrenched shoulder to be shed
A cut on the finger and a bruise on the thigh
On the job injuries, we all must try
To heal and to mend, to patch and to sew
To work through the pain, and to let it all go
For the job must be done, and the work must be done well
On the job injuries, we all must dwell.
As beautiful a work as that is, it does deserve a more detailed analysis. Let’s look at it stanza by stanza, shall we?
A twisting wrench and a slip of the hand
A sharp pain and a broken band
A fall from the ladder, a cut on the cheek
On the job injuries, we all must seek
This verse was clearly written for injured workers’ attorneys. I can’t think of another group that proactively seeks, even advertises to find, on-the-job injuries.
A sprained ankle and a bruised knee
A burn from the welding, as hot as can be
A broken bone and a tear in the flesh
On the job injuries, we all must fresh
Ok, I suspect Skippy is now just making crap up. He probably chose the word “flesh” and then couldn’t think of anything else to rhyme. I told you he wasn’t ready for world domination. Yet.
A scrape on the elbow and a gash on the head
A strained back and a wrenched shoulder to be shed
A cut on the finger and a bruise on the thigh
On the job injuries, we all must try
Ok, if Skippy ever files a workers’ compensation claim, I would really look into it carefully. His whole position that we must try to achieve on-the-job injuries sounds a bit too much like frequent flying to me.
But I must say, with the final stanza, or quatrain, he really brings it home:
To heal and to mend, to patch and to sew
To work through the pain, and to let it all go
For the job must be done, and the work must be done well
On the job injuries, we all must dwell.
Quite the ode to recovery and responsibility, and a tribute to the noble purpose of workers’ comp. Heal and mend, patch and sew. Work through the pain and let it all go. The work must be done, and we must do it well. And for on-the-job injuries, we must certainly dwell.
Nice job, Skippy. Perhaps you will be ready for the annihilation of mankind before we know it. Unless, of course, Google or Adobe buys you, and you disappear into a morass of confusing and hard-to-find product offerings. Whatever.
My next couple of blog posts will be articles written by Skippy at my request. I will also tell you what I think about them, and by extension what you should think about them as well.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Skip to content